Recently I was offered a Lead Facilitator role. A role I was genuinely excited about, qualified for and proud to have secured.
When I applied, the advert simply stated 25 hours part-time. Had the timings and structure of those hours been clear from the outset, I would never have applied, because I already know the limitations I live within as the parent of an autistic child.
But I didn’t know. And that is the painful part.
To get through the application process, interviews and the emotional investment of imagining a future version of yourself again… only to realise the reality of the hours meant you could not keep your child safe.
It hit me harder than I expected.
People often assume that as children get older they naturally become independent, emotionally regulated and safe to leave alone. But many parents of neurodiverse children know that chronological age and emotional maturity are not always aligned.
A child can look older whilst still needing significant emotional support, supervision, co-regulation and safety management.
This leaves many parents — especially mothers — trapped in an impossible position. You want purpose. You want identity. You want financial independence. You want to contribute your skills, intelligence and experience to the world.
But you are also carrying the constant invisible responsibility of protecting and supporting a child whose needs do not fit neatly into society’s expectations.
The cost of this is enormous. It impacts careers, pensions, confidence, relationships, mental health and earning potential. Opportunities are lost quietly behind closed doors every single day by parents making impossible decisions no one sees.
And, whilst Disability Living Allowance helps, it does not compensate for the real financial and emotional impact of being unable to fully participate in employment because your caring responsibilities extend far beyond what society imagines they should.
This experience reminded me how trapped I sometimes feel.
And, I know I cannot possibly be alone in this.
There are thousands of parents out there silently grieving careers they cannot fully pursue whilst trying to hold together the emotional and practical realities of raising neurodiverse children in a world that still does not adequately support them.
We need more understanding. More flexibility. More honesty. And systems that recognise the true cost carried by parent carers every single day.
#AutismAwareness #SENDParent #Neurodiversity #WorkingParents #InvisibleLabour #ParentCarer #AutisticChildren #WomenInBusiness #MentalHealth #CaregiverBurnout #FlexibleWorking #DisabilitySupport #SENDFamilies #Neurodivergent #InclusionMatters #SpecialNeedsParenting
